The following was written by Hilary Gewant, this year's recipient of The Birmingham Jewish Federation's Joanie Plous Bayer Young Leadership Award. Hilary, a participant in The BJF's new Leadership Writing Project, was invited by The BJF to share some reflections in Update during Thanksgiving week.

By Hilary Gewant

Sitting at home one recent rainy afternoon, I watched my three sweet children play with one another, make up silly games, create masterpieces of artwork for the fridge that only a mother could love and argue over who had the best snack. Their innocence and kindness captivated me! I couldn't help pondering their future.

Will my husband, Scott, and I have given them the tools required to be responsible, caring Jewish adults? How can we best teach them about the magnificent work that our Birmingham Jewish Federation does? This work that has enriched our lives immeasurably this past year. Will they embrace a Jewish Federation way of life, as we have done, that allows individuals to help so many others?

I want them to value the principle of people coming together; not only with family, but also with other Jews to improve the world.

With Thanksgiving Day drawing near, I find myself in a reflective mood once again. Though my children are still young, I want to be sure that Scott and I teach them the value of living Jewishly, lay the foundation for an everlasting sibling bond, create meaningful family traditions for them and establish Jewish memories that they will cherish and transmit to their own families.

So I wonder -- what will they remember about our Thanksgiving celebrations?

EXHAUSTED & HAPPY

Growing up in my family, Thanksgiving meant piling in the car and driving from Montgomery, where I grew up, to Alexander City. We made this short trip each year to visit my great grandmother, Ida Schoenbaum. We relaxed in her cozy home and enjoyed some quality family time as we "gobbled" up her delicious home-cooked Thanksgiving lunch. There was no room on her table for store-bought rolls, desserts or stuffing. You got "the real McCoy" as Grand Marge (Ida's daughter and my marvelous grandmother, Marjorie Aronov) used to say. And it was good!

We ate too much, played outside until our shoes (and knees!) were covered in dirt and then we drove home exhausted, yet blissfully happy. Memories of those good times in Alexander City remain within me; planted in my heart forever.

That was more than 30 years ago, and it was a different time -- for my family and for me. Everyone I loved in the world was together celebrating and, even as a young child, I was learning the precious art of "giving thanks." How simple life seems when we are but children embraced by a loving family!

MEMORIES EVER PRESENT

In recent years, our family has gathered for Thanksgiving at my mom's house in Montgomery. Those three precious kids who entertain and inspire me are there -- and my own poignant childhood memories are ever present. The day remains a family celebration; though the cast of family members has changed. I now have my own family, and loved ones who were once there are gone, yet still remembered.

My fabulous mom, Teri Aronov, hosts all of us for a beautiful meal and a dose of her Southern hospitality. Her house is filled with flowers (white roses -- her favorite and mine!), the table is set perfectly with Grand Marge's china and crystal, everyone contributes their signature dish and we delight in one another's company.

We laugh about everything, run after all the little ones until us "old" folks can no longer keep up, talk about football (especially our beloved Crimson Tide!) and reminisce about the "good ole days" in Alexander City. Mom does it right -- with feeling, with flair, with family. Great Grandma Ida and Grand Marge would be so proud! This is what my children will remember.

The sun is shining brightly now as I sit at home finishing this piece. After thinking about all of this, I've come to realize that my darling young trio does seem to understand what Scott and I are trying to teach them, even if they are too young to tell us. I believe that our son and daughters know that they are the center of our traditions, and are connecting with the cultural and spiritual rewards of being Jewish. I see their delight in being part of our family and the enjoyment they derive from being together (most of the time!).

My memories of those spectacular Thanksgivings growing up form a wonderful montage; a singular depiction that makes me grateful -- everyday in so many ways.

***

Pictured above are, from left, Hilary's grandmother, Marjorie Aronov; her great-grandmother, Ida Schoenbaum; Hilary; her mom, Teri Aronov; and her sister, Marlin.