By Joyce Spielberger, BJF

"I am sorry you have to do it, but thank you for doing it." These were my closing words to a parent who had contacted me to discuss how she should handle a situation in her child's middle school where the boundaries between religion and public school activities had been crossed.

In my role as The Birmingham Jewish Federation's Director of Community Relations, I am frequently called by parents for advice and, at times, accompany them to talk to their children's teachers and principals when situations arise in schools that either cause discomfort to Jewish students and/or when religious activities have come right into the classroom.

Separation of church and state is one of America's fundamental principles, and we, at The BJF, place a high priority on making sure that laws and standards are adhered to in our area. It is not always cut and dry; the role of religion in the public schools is a complex issue, especially here in the predominantly Christian South. Guidelines and standards set by the schools and policy-makers must seek to balance the constitutional provisions of church and state and the right to freely exercise religion.

This most recent situation involved a youth minister from a church not too far from the school, who came into the school lunchroom and approached the table at which this student was sitting with friends. The minister spoke to the boys asking them where they attend church. This crossed the line.

Anytime representatives of a particular faith are in a school setting, they should not approach students to promote their religion. The general rule is that they can be joined at a lunch table by their congregants or by students who have made arrangements to sit at their table.

NOT THE FIRST TIME

This was not the first time this mother has had a problem with religious activities at her son's school and we discussed the best way to handle the situation. We also talked about how her son felt about the encounter; she was distraught that her son was caught off guard and made to feel "different" while eating lunch with his friends, all of whom are not Jewish.

At the end of our conversation she felt good about what we had decided would be her approach; her next step would be to email the principal to tell him about the lunchroom incident.

She thanked me for talking it through with her but I told her it was she who deserved the thanks -- she was willing to speak up, which will help sensitize the school not only to those students whose faith beliefs are not in the majority, but to the needs and rights of the non-religious as well.

She contacted me the next week to let me know that the principal had responded to her email and was appreciative to her for alerting him to the incident. He told her he would follow up with the church to make sure their ministers followed school guidelines. It was, in my opinion, the desired outcome -- opening the channels of communication positively to develop sensitivity in our schools.

In addition to working with parents, I serve as a resource to our school systems and work proactively to educate about the Jewish holidays and customs and how they affect their Jewish students. We have come a long way in my 10 years in this BJF role and I know that many of the schools now "get it."

The Mountain Brook School system, which has a significant number of Jewish students, checks the Jewish holiday calendar each year and consistently moves football games or school events if there is a conflict with the Jewish high holidays.

The head of the cafeteria at Indian Springs School, a local private school, contacted me one year to ask for special recipes that include matzah (unleavened bread) for Passover. These small but very significant actions are gratifying.

YOM KIPPUR HOMECOMING

Unfortunately this year, the University of Alabama inadvertently scheduled its homecoming on Yom Kippur. Even though it was called to the school's attention, the University was unable to change the date.

UA Hillel, which is the Jewish student organization, received a formal apology from the chair of UA's Intercollegiate Athletic Committee and a request for information on the Jewish High Holidays to avoid it happening again. Hillel director Kathy Merrell will be supplying the committee with 10-year Jewish holiday calendars. Again, there was a positive outcome -- an opportunity to educate others about the Jewish religion and observances.

Everyday in so many ways, The BJF strives to make life better for all of us, and continued education, communication and dialogue with our school systems is one of the most important ways we do it.